video game rant

Video games today suck ass. I've mastered every chief and grand thefted every auto, and you know what...it was easy. All video games today have one thing in common, be it any genre, sports, action, adventure, virtual-sex, fighting, RPG; they're all undoubtedly easy to beat. Keep in mind, I'm talking on a gamer level when I say today's video games aren't challenging. I am confident every infant, paraplegic, epileptic, and woman out there will be entertained by modern video games for hours on end. But for those among you who were playing Wolfenstein and Doom while all the other children on the block were watching Disney movies and playing with their vaginas, you guys know what I'm talking about.

Basically, I miss the times when Sega Genesis and Super Nintendo were the only consoles around. If you take any game originally for the SNES or Genesis and look at its sequels for later consoles, you will notice a key difference; the new one blows. For example, Super Mario World for Super Nintendo was, and in my book, still is one of the greatest games around. In fact, when it was first released in the United States, it actually came with a pair of UV ray-resistant glasses, so when you looked at the screen, your eyes did not melt out of their sockets because of its utter awesomeness. Fast foward fifteen years and what do we have now? Mario fucking Sunshine. I'm not quite sure of the plot of this game, but I think it has something to do with ridding the world of pollution, that's right, the bad guys went from insane, Italian plumber-hungry turtles led by a gigantic megalomaniac monster to stray trash. If you are a parent and you bought your kid this game, just make sure you send in the free rebate for a complimentary serving of quiches and a glittery baton.

One of the main reasons today games are easier is because to beat them, all the gamer needs is skill. To be fair, skill was needed to beat games back in the day as well, although, so was luck. I am of course referring to the complete inadequacy of the console itself. Before SNES was NES. I never owned one personally, but I have played many a game on this system. And from what I've experienced, whether you hit the bad guy or not, made the jump from platform to platform, or scored the winning point was entirely dependent on the NES and what it felt like letting you do. At any given point while playing a NES game, you could fully expect it to completely forego the rules of any understood physics. This includes your character falling through the ground, time looping over and over as it repeats the same jerky second, the game freezing completely, odd and annoying noises sparking up from supposedly nowhere, and perhaps if you've been playing too long- the console itself overheating and bursting into flames most likely killing you and anyone else in the room. But that was always part of the game, luck.

And soon we will have the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3 out in stores. I deeply hope the current downhill trend of video games does not continue. Microsoft and Sony constantly strive to make the games for their souped-up system more and more realistic as they try to (unsuccessfully) balance graphics for gameplay. Someone should tell them they are making video games, which by definition are an escape from reality. So quit making your games real, and start making them real frustrating, like you did back in day. I want to be swearing my ass off at the TV because the game keeps locking up. I want to have a heart attack from the utter elation I experience once I beat the level I've been working on for hours on end. I want to be covered in flames because my game console exploded into my face since I played it for two days straight. Why? Because THAT is entertainment.

This post has been edited by schwaeg87 on Jun 28 2005, 12:57 PM

and don't even tell me that it's too long. just pretend that at the bottom there is a naked picture of some really hot chick (or guy if you're a girl or ) but you can only see it if you read the whole thing....jerks

There is life outside of video games you know.

Haha. I read it all, and I say, "GOOD RANTING" my friend!

I agree that games have gotten easier over time, but most games have mulitple levels from 'Retarded-Baby' to 'Don't Even Try'. Sure you can beat it on normal, but can you beat it on ridiculously impossible? I find that the best competition, and enjoyment comes from playing other people, not the computer. All the new systems and most every game has online play for that feature. Which is something the games of yore couldn't compete with.

I liked your point of how the old video game consols would sometimes re-write the laws of physics mid-game.

meh, I feel your pain, but I honestly don't seeing it getting any better with the upcoming release of the new consoles. So much emphasis has been put on multi-player online game play that the campaign modes of these games seem to seriously suck. Look at Halo 2, for instance. Aside from the online (albeit glitchy as fuck) play against other people, that game is a complete waste of time. I've yet to meet anyone who was impressed with that weak ass advertisement that they called a single player campaign.



nice post btw...you were right on the money with everything except "I am confident every infant, paraplegic, epileptic, and woman out there will be entertained by modern video games for hours on end"

This post has been edited by chaka on Jun 28 2005, 02:28 PM

One thing you left out is the fact that you can save at ANY point in most games. GTA has "safehouses" where you can save your progress up to this point even if all you've done is stolen a nicer car. I remember growing up during the NES age and renting Super Mario Bros. 3 and I had you start a brand new game every time I shut the NES off. And Zelda did have a save feature, except you had to hold the "RESET" button as you shut of the console so as to ensure it would save. Now THAT was frustrating if you forgot (which I did a few times). Then there was Bionic Commando... But I digress.

schweag, good rant brother. I personally liked the part where you said: "I am confident every ... woman out there..." That is funny because the majority of gamers are predominantly male. To sound like Roger Ebert for a second, three thumbs up.*

*I know Ebert and the boys usually only give two thumbs, but I ain't that fat bastard.

Ikari Warriors. 3 levels each one took about 2 hours to beat. No save option anywhere.

good rant . I think the problem is that its too easy to get a game started now a days. look at the original nintendo. it took skill to get your tv screen to flash from gray to white to red to blue to green when you first insert your game and press the power button. It took even more skill to actually get an hours worth of play time before it froze and had to take the game out, blow in the game, blow in the nintendo and so on and so forth. as i sit here typing this i finally figured it all out. Its all a twisted joke on the US from the japaness. some guy was like, hey America blew up our country with necular weapons, lets create something that everyone will buy for fun and piss them all off 6 months from now.

Man, I remember beating Sonic 2 for sega and having the system literally melting the plastic finish on my table. Yeah, there are more save features nowadays, but games are usually longer than the ones back in the day because there is more room for storage. Imagine trying to beat a game like GTA San Andreas in one sitting...hell, the game averages about 30 hours of playing time to complete the main storyline, and it took me like 50 (eh, I have the ADD and am easily distracted, but I digress). Video games now have good elements as well as bad ones, but theyre overall a-ok with me.

yeah, we sure did get them with them necular weapons... thanks for the compliment...but where in hell did you get "necular?" haha

Its Nucular dummy the R is silent.

great rant man i totally agree.

i remember trying for hours as a little kid trying to do the secret warp in super mario bros where you gotta smash a certain block or something...i dunno but that game owned

You need to play Ikaruga for GCN.
The game is so hard it made me cry... and I liked it.







Or get a rom and DC emulator like THIS guy.

Level 1-2 you jump on the cascading beams (the red ones the go flow up or down)
and jump "out of the screen" unto the gray brick border.
Follow that to get to 3 warp pipes.

Mario in the wall
If you come to a place with a wall of blocks hanging from the ceiling, scroll right until there is about 1/2 of a block space between the wall and the edge of the screen. If you jump into it, you should get stuck ther, if you can't jump in, you've scrolled too far. If you fall out, you haven't scrolled far enough. When you're in the wall, press and hold Down and press B rapidly. If this is done right, when Mario is consumed by the wall, he will be sucked to the right to the other side of the wall.


it takes you to like a sub warp..i could never do that shit

Here is a new game for you,


GET A TAN

Go outside and get some fucking SUN!!!!!!

Have you played that one?

Play halo 2 on legendary or Ninja Gaiden for xbox on the most difficult setting, you won't be able to beat either of those. Or try Forza Motorsport on xbox with full difficulty and damage...it's impossible.

Or drive a bicycle wthout wheels

Pfft. Cake.

Damn you!!

Or try and make witty posts on collegeslackers.

this guy did a really good job



...idiot

This post has been edited by schwaeg87 on Jun 29 2005, 10:47 AM

Yeah the old school games used to piss me off to no end. I agree that games are sometimes easier today, but i think they game styles have changed. Instead of jumping over pits and timing jumps to floating platforms we are now sneaking up on enemies, driving vehicles and crashing realistic CG models of cars. i sometimes think that sneaking up on an enemy is easier than hitting a series of timing jumps. either way the game layouts, objectives, lengths and difficulty have changed, some for the better some for the worse. I think i'd rather play a fun game, which may be of lower difficulty but with great graphics over a frustrating game with mediocre graphics.