best excuses used for class

this is dedicated to the creative slackers who spend more time thinking of excuses than doing the assignment (welcome to my world!) so tell us some excuses you've used on your profs. and gotten away with.....

This post has been edited by slick_one on Dec 2 2004, 02:36 PM

sorry im late mr. johnson, the exchange student and i were in the janitors closet fondling each other and i lost track of time. is there ANY way i can make it up to you????


nah j.k i havent used that one... yet

i lost my voice last night at the basketball game and since speaking is an integral part of the class, i will not be able to make your 1030 spanish class, senor gonzalez.

worse part is i had seen him the night before eating dinner, there was no game and i saw him out that next night.

I fell into a deep depression following the election results, sir. I felt I was suffering from post election trauma and needed at least a day to recover.
I've used that excuse twice.

This post has been edited by zenlunatic on Dec 2 2004, 06:13 PM

Food poisoning. Nobody likes to hear shit and vomit details.

Very true! It hardly gets questioned. Other than "Where from, so I don't go there"

women can always can pull the "I am on the rag" card

one of my professors that i always joked around with asked me why i was late one time and i just flat out told em that i was takin a fat shit in the bathroom, after that he never asked why again...lol

My brother dying is still the best I have. I use it atleast once a year

What women do you know that actually do that?! I've honestly never used that as an excuse.

But I have used the food poisoning one...no class for a week

I've used that one too, even if it was true. Got me off the hook.

MY Teachers never ask me anything when i skip

yea 7th and 8th grade my most favorite teacher MR. Whiles damn he was cool you walk in late say" I was taking a poo" and he said "okay your excused, everything come out good" haha god thats a good excuse, that and "I ate something bad last night so i have the shits" thats a good on too.

my zipper got stuck

same here

my grandma died, duh

Had to shovel snow


(we never get slow...)

Sorry I wasnt in class on monday Mr. Wallace I was in the middle of having sex with your wife and you know how she gets when you take your thumb and put it in her...............welll you know how she gets.

Good thing im friends with the guy and he does not have a wife !!!!

When my professor asked about me skipping once, I told him the truth - a chick at school wanted to go out to dinner with me. I told him which one and he said, "Yeah well, if she had asked me I would have skipped too".

Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A." That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the schrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorroids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

ive found that by saying this i can pretty much get out of any sticky situations. try it sometime.

Good Will Hunting. Great Movie.






Oh and to quote Kelso...


*AHEM*


BBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

None of my professors really give a shit if we are there or not so there is no need for an excuse.

best excuse: BUMP